I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Randomize
