your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
