So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
