Swine flu. Run for my life!
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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