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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
