please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
