You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
