No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
