She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
