I think I died a long time ago.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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