Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
4 words: hood of his car
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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