God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
