If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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