Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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