i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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