I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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