Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.

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(716): View more from New York

since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?

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(302): View more from Delaware

I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.

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(419): View more from Ohio

i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business

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(631): View more from New York

She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat

(1-631): View more from New York

SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.

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(214): View more from Texas

he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been

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(319): View more from Iowa

Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud

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