If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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