Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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