UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
