508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
