I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
