How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
