i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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