i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
