I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Randomize
