quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
