i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
