she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
