Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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