Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just puked most of my soul out..
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
