Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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