Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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