u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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