Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
