My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
