you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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