I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
