i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
