someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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