just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just forgot I was standing up.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
