What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
