Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
