sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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