white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
