I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
