wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
