Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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