Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
