Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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