like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
