dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
